Grief and Loss -Tell the Truth In Love on Becoming Human Again

Tell the Truth In Love – Becoming Human Again

The grief and loss over the death of my husband left me in some kind of way. I am going to tell the truth in love, but the truth none the less.  Becoming human again was something that seemed and was so far away from me, I tell you!!  Finding out what happened to him, was worse than the shock I felt as a little girl sitting there in front of the TV and watching Walter Cronkite drop his microphone as he relayed the news that President Kennedy had died from being shot in the head!!! And being so young and never had  here-to-fore experienced such a trauma as that, could only scream and cry there on the floor in front of that Black and White TV!

“The network coverage of the assassination and funeral of John F. Kennedy warrants its reputation as the most moving and historic passage in broadcasting history. On Friday 22 November 1963, news bulletins reporting rifle shots during the president’s motorcade in Dallas,Texas, broke into normal programming.”  Source – Internet.

I was told of my husband’s impending death on the phone, and my legs became like rubber instantly my whole body began to tremble. I felt faint, but didn’t and how I walked to where he was, I do not know. But actually I do, and I will try to explain through the picture below – Mind – Body Health (An adaptation of Rossi, E.L., 1993):

And I have to say it here, as I look at the workings of the body even in this simple picture as it says in Psalm 139:14 – I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. – KJV.

When you experience a major stressor in your life; in this picture, the stressor is having to take an exam. In my case, experiencing the traumatic death of  loved ones. And before you ask, as that young little girl, I loved President Kennedy. I could hear my mom who never missed the 6:00 PM News on Channel 12; and other elders speak of him. Also, I remember “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!” speach or at least that part of it.

And so when a stressor is captured by the mind; the brain then, in short, and by definition, the process is called,  “acute stress disorder.”  Acute stress disorder is what is demonstrated in the picture.  Acute Stress Disorder is the result of a  traumatic event  in which the person experiences or witnesses an event that causes the victim/witness to experience extreme, disturbing or unexpected fear, stress or pain, and that involves or threatens serious injury, perceived serious injury or death to themselves or someone else. – Wikipedia.

Short and sweet, it looks like nothing is happening in that picture other than you seeing the  direction of those hormones and their names flowing down from the brain and through the body.

That is a still picture, but in an actual person, acute stress reaction  or shock as we know it is a psychological and physiological condition in response to a terrifying or traumatic event. The onset of a stress response is associated with specific physiological actions caused by the sympathetic nervous system, both directly and indirectly through the release of adrenaline and noradrenaline from the adrenals, the hormones that give you the strength and enrgy to run;  or to lift a car up off of your child. A hormone then is a  chemical substance, formed in one organ or part of the body and carried in the blood to another organ or part where they exert functional effects; depending on the specificity of their effects, hormones can alter the functional activity, and sometimes the structure, of just one organ or tissue or various numbers of them.These powerful hormones facilitate immediate physical reactions by triggering increases in heart rate and breathing, constricting blood vessels. You will/can fight or run.  This is the fight or flight response. You have heard people when they wonder how in the  world did thus an so occur? These hormones are responsible for what seems as super human strength, which a person could not otherwise do whatever it was they just did. Whether it be running up a flight of stairs in record time or picking up a car, or getting to the other side of town in record speed! In technical terms, an abundance of catecholamines at neuroreceptor sites facilitates reliance on spontaneous or intuitive behaviors often related to combat or escape.

And it can and does happen continously over and over again when  a stimulus is perceived as a threat, a more intense and prolonged discharge of the locus ceruleus activates the sympathetic division of the autonomic nervous system (Thase & Howland, 1995). See why we need to tell the truth with love!!! Grief and loss evoke fear and that response, whereas, oh  contraire with love!  Love on the other hand, and  your brain which senses and feels the love releases hormones such as dopamine, adrenaline,norepinephrine, oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, which has the power to reduce stress,  and lower blood pressure, according to research from the University of North Carolina. High stress and anxiety are linked to high blood pressure, increased heart rate, and other factors that can contribute to heart disease, and weight gain.

We have enough in our everyday lives, so let us love a little more and give these bodies of our some rest.

We, all of us as a people historically will not go for help.  I want to stress that here. Get some help!!! Look at what you are doing to your body!!! Our organs were not meant to have to work that fast all of the time. And eventually if you do not give your kidneys a rest, you will deplete them of their cortisol. Cortisol is a steroid hormone, more specifically a glucocortoid, produced by in the adrenal gland.  It is released in response to stress and a low level of blood glucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism. And to speak english, get you the strength you need from your body to run from that bear!!!!!

And let’s consider what happens to us if we are constantly in a state of stress and fear.  Ever heard of diabetes, anybody here possibly wondering or maybe connecting a few dots as to  where it comes from? Heard of high blood pressure? Yes. And heart disease. Yes, a possible cause, from it having to beat so fast under the effects of the adrenalin and cortisol release in response to the stress. And now dialysis from having worked your kidneys so hard. Yes.    You need to have all of the above properly diagnosed by a physician, but I can say from studying about these facts, there may be a correlation, but you will need to be seen and diagnosed by your physician, then come and let us help you relax through the treatment modality of your choice here at Victory Road Wellness Center – Arometherapy, Hypnotherapy, TimeLine Therapy: Optimum Focus Ionic Foot Bath;  to slow those kidneys down. Yes I too am a STOIC (firmly restraining response to pain or distress) keep to myself when I got troubles. But it is time now to acknowledge it and go and get some help.

I will say here that I did, not intentionally but as an aside of releasing fear and anger and sadness in my own refresher class of NLP – NeuroLinguistic Programming by the Tad James Company. This time, I am telling what happened in Vegas!!!!!

Go through the normal processes of Grief and Loss, that is ok. And as I know that music can convey a message better than anything else, and in that I may have stirred up emotions for you from the earlier part of this post; see the next video. Play it if you like, I found it calming, if not for the music, for the message.

Our human experince and potential is a transformative process.  We can move from one state to the other and give both our psychology and our physiology a little rest. Those little chemicals are really good at what they do. Designed by the best.  I am now through God’s grace, and the LOVE of all of you, friends and family alike; am now able to say that I am so much the better for it.  Thank You one and all!!

  Please do not hesitate to contact us for any further questions or comments:

  Victory Road Wellness Center

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                                     The Spirit to Care and the Skill to Help

                                      Walk In Broken – Walk Out In Victory!!



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